I passed 30,000 words in my WIP novel this week. I am both proud and mystified.

Y’all. I’ve hit the muddy middle. Anyone that’s written anything knows that there comes a point when you start to question everything. Here’s what I’ve been thinking this week:

* Why did I even think I could do this?

* God, this story sucks.

* This is going straight to the file cabinet of broken dreams.

* Any agent I query this to is going to laugh and tell me I never should have even tried.

* I should quit this one and start that new project I thought of in the shower.

* I HATE YOU MC! YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING I TELL YOU!

* I’m the worst writer to ever write. Ever.

* I can always quit.

It’s so tempting. It’s so tempting to shelve this project and start something new. That new shiny idea full of life-like, obedient characters, fully rounded and waiting for me.

But I’m committed this time. I will write something in this book every day, with a goal to meet or exceed my word count target every day. Right now, that means just over 900 words every weekday to meet a total word count of 100,000 by June 1.

I will not lose myself in the muddy middle. I won’t do it. Even if this book winds up the file cabinet of despair, I will finish it. I will finish this first draft.